Daniel Johns: Kerrang Confidential
What is your nickname and why?
"Johnsy. But I used to get called Jasper, because everyone thought I looked like Casper the ghost!"
At school, were you a dunce or a teacher's pet?
"In between. I just sat there and did what was required. A lot of the time I wasn't actually in class, especially the last two years. We just used to go to our friend's house and only turn up for the key lessons."
What was your first shag like?
"Like everyone's I think -- pretty uncomfortable. I felt like a bit of a dumb shit. I wasn't nervous at all, I was excited. I was like, 'Yeah! Hurry up'."
Who's your best friend?
"I spend most of my time with my dog, Sweep. I enjoy her company more than anything. A lot of people laugh and think it's stupid, but it's the truth."
What's the best pet you've ever had?
"Sweep. I also used to have a goldfish when I was very little, but it died after about two days. I had a Mexican walking fish too: f**k, they're cool, little water lizards. That was when I was about 10."
Have you ever been arrested?
"One time we were in LA and driving illegally on a private beach with (ex-Chilli Pepper) Dave Navarro. This big American police guy came over and escorted me to the police station. Epic Records had to bail me out."
What would ou be if you weren't a rock star?
"Only a rock musician! When I was really young, my only real passion was playing music. There's really nothing else I've ever wanted to do."
How would you describe yourself on a blind date form?
"A not very interesting person who never really does anything crazy. Well, I've done some crazy things back home, but I'd never be filling out a blind date form in the first place."
What's the most extravagent thing you've ever bought?
"A Mercedes. Until recently I never really bought anything apart from records, and my accountant told me that I had to buy something large for tax reasons. So me and my dad went out looking for fast cars and ended up buying a Merc. I'd only had it for a week when we left to go on this tour, so I'm looking forward to going home to drive it."
Who's gagging for a shagging?
"(Singer) Fiona Apple's nice-looking, but I don't know if she's gagging for a shagging."
Who's gagging for a smacking?
"I hate so many people, but I'm not gonna name any names because I've got in trouble before from saying bands I hate. But I do hate the majority of people until I meet them -- that's just the way I am."
Who would you least like to see naked?
What's the best rumor you've ever heard about yourself?
"The dumbest one, which everyone believed, was on the Internet. It said I'd got married when I was 16. They super-imposed my photo onto a guy's head and it looked really real. All my cousins were ringing up and saying, 'I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding'. So I just told them it didn't feel right at the time..."
What's in your wallet right now?
" A telecard so that I can ring my Mummy and Daddy, my driver's licence, bank cards, 45 cash and $15 in Australian money."
What's your favorite joke?
"A horse walks into a bar and the barman says: 'Why the long face?'."
If you were marooned on a desert island without food, which member of silverchair would you choose to eat first?
"Probably Chris(Joannou,bass)- I'd be worried about getting salmonella poisoning from Ben(Gillies,drums) because he's so grotty!"
Which silverchair song would you choose to donate to a compilation album entitled 'Crap Songs of Our Time'?
"Cicada, off our first album. I hate that song with a passion. I can't even listen to it these days."
What's your drug of choice?
"I'm not straight-edge, but I don't have one. I can't drink alcohol because I've got a stomach ulcer."
What does god look like?
When you die, how would you like to go?
"Suddenly. I've got a terrible phobia about drowning. I hate boats and if I'm on a plane I always imagine that it's gonna crash into the water."
[Thanks to Ariela for the transcript.]